The Noise Around Us

     Life can be noisy!  Christmas was like that for us, music playing, people talking.  Noisy is not my favorite atmosphere.

     Since I was little, I liked things quiet and predictable.  I had health problems and was often tired, and too much noise just wore me out.  

     I miss my grandmother.  Christmas was her birthday, so every Christmas is punctuated with the fact that she's not there.  It makes me sad sometimes.  I always do my best, of course, to give my kids the perfect Christmas Eve, like she did for us, and my mother took over and did for us, and now it's my turn to be matriarch.  It is a bittersweet feeling.

     Sometimes noise just makes me feel too busy.  Other times, I want to rock out and forget the troubles of the day.  I like to hum along with songs I like, or even belt out the song with them.  It's all in how you look at it, and what state of mind you are in at the time.  We aren't always in the mood for noise.  Other times we crave it.  It's up to us how we deal with it, or not.  If it's something that we are passionate about, we don't tend to mind the noise too much.  Teaching in a noisy class was something I found stressful.  I felt like if you were taking my class, you must have wanted to learn what I had to teach you, but people talking amongst themselves or commenting or asking a lot of questions bothered me, because I felt like they were wasting both of our times.  

     If you live in or near the city, your world is definitely noisy.  Family get togethers can hold arguments and yelling.  It can be downright uncomfortable.

     Peace and quiet are something that we all need.  That's why I love going out to the country, or the forest, and just hearing the noise of birds, and maybe a stream.  

     My grandma's house was always fairly quiet, when only she was there.  I grew to like the peace of just being next to her.  The quiet knowing that we were spending time together.  She was a happy, jolly person, who could light up a room and make any event a better one.  I miss her.  I have tried to pass down her traditions, from the various "old countries" that she was descended from, but I have all boys, who, no offense, are not all that "in to" that sort of thing, and are gaining wives and girlfriends who have their own traditions.  I hate to think of all of the wonderful things that she taught me, dying with me.  

     The world has become a fast-paced, loud mess.  I remember when I was young wanting to go to concerts and clubs and sang until my throat was sore, and danced until my feet were just as sore.  So, I guess noise is for the young.  I still like my music, but at a much lesser volume than it used to be at.  I don't need for my car or entertainment center to shake anymore.  I just need to be able to hear it clearly.  Being in loud places makes me cringe.  But, when hanging out with friends and listening to good music, it doesn't bother me so much.  It's all your state of mind.  We can sometimes love noise, like cheering for our favorite team.  Being talked over, is a kind of noise we certainly don't like.  Think about the noise around you, and what it's all about.  Why it's there.  

     Life can be noisy, but it's up to us which noise we listen to.

     Until next time!

     Rev. Angelia Schwarz Coleman, PhD.E.

     Retired Minister Works of Heart

     Executive Director Healing Families' Lives

What Brings You Peace?

What Brings You Peace?






At this point in my life, I am looking for peace.  There are worries in my life, of course.  There are also awesome things that I am looking forward to.  I look forward to seeing the majesty of God's throne; not to mention God.  I hope to be in the grand procession of those seeing the amazingness of Heaven.  Hope to see the angels singing and playing in reverence to Our Lord.  I long to see the rainbow cities, the rooms for us all, the endless sea of glass.  But, yet, when I reach out for it, it slips farther away peacefully, the angels smiling as if to say, "It is not your time, yet."

The night with it's crickets and frogs makes me feel peaceful.  It gets me ready to sleep and dream.  To dream of Heaven and angels, and sometimes the fallen one slips his claws into a dream.  But mostly, I dream of people and times and things that I love.  Sparkling, pretty dreams of love and laughter.  Sometimes, it's sad when I slip into wakefulness that the beautiful dream world is not the real one.  Sometimes I dream of space, and beings coming from another place and starting it all here.

I have inadvertently broken some hearts, I hear.  I never meant to.  I have had people stalk me, or purposefully do things to hurt me.  I was told once by a "friend" that I ruined a guy when I went out with him.  (Some friend!)  It's sad when someone actually wants to break someone's heart in revenge.
I am looking forward to some rest.  I have grown up, raised my kids, helped others build their dreams, and built my own.  I have no serious complaints.  I am right with God as far as I know.  I am excited about going to Heaven.  I will be happy to see my angel friends, who I've seen in dreams.  I hope to have a beautiful place to rest.  But, I can also wait a while longer.  I have not done a lot of things that I'd like to.  But, I am tired.  I have seen a lot of good, and bad.  I have had the love of some wonderful people, familial, friendship and romantic.  I have had a lot of good times, and a lot of laughs.  Life does pass quickly.  How did it all start?  How will it all end?  I have never meant to hurt anyone.  I have even restrained from getting justice from people who have seriously hurt me.  I've turned the other cheek.  I have never really understood some male's pride and ego, how they get so hurt so quick by what seemed like me to be something trivial.  (Women are the emotional ones?!)  I have also not got the extent of some people's jealousy and the lengths they go to for their revenge.  I have had people use and abuse me.  I have had people "broom" me in favor of what they thought was a "trade up".  But all in all, I've always looked towards the things that bring me peace; sunshine, breezes, water, the hope of salvation, nature, and a good laugh.  What more can you ask for?!

Rev. Angelia Schwarz Coleman, PhD.E.
Minister Works of Heart Ministry, Outreach & Education
Executive Director Healing Families' Lives, Inc.
Louisville and the surrounding areas
wohwomensministry@gmail.com
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Doing Your Best

Doing Your Best




     I work hard!  I do the best that I can, even though I work for myself.  It can be frightening to some to be in charge of your own work and not have a "boss".

     But, my health forced me to pursue other avenues.  I get up as early as I can, some days, that's not until the double digits of the morning; it just depends each day.  Some days breakfast is really brunch.  But, I do my best to continue my studies, and enjoy my work.  I would like to be retired, or not have to work so hard just to earn a few dollars.  But this is the real world, and even though my doctors and I feel that I have earned it, the SSA has repeatedly decided that someone of my caliber, can do SOMETHING to support themselves, even if they are physically incapable of working for an employer anymore.  So, I hang here, in a delicate balance, depending mostly on others, and just hoping that I can help someone with what little I can do.

     I grow a little more tired every day.  I am so tired some days, that death would seem like a peaceful release and a chance to sleep without pain.  My life is broken in many places, but I have done my best to glue the pieces together each time, and keep moving.  I really love what I do, and feel like if I help just one person come through the canyon, to the top and out, then I have accomplished something.  Then I can sail away with a smile at the end.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I feel like I am finally doing what God put me here to do.  My good clients and students who have finished my programs have told me how much I've helped them, and I'm glad to be able to do that.

     My work is mentally and emotionally draining.  I work as hard for me as I ever did for any boss, I can just get fewer hours in.  I know people who say they could never work for themselves, they'd be afraid that they wouldn't work without a boss to keep them motivated.  For me, being able to take care of my personal needs, and helping others to overcome what I have is my motivation.  I am in bad physical shape; from head to toe!  I hate it when I just can't get up.  My son has shaken me awake when my alarm clock was going off for an hour, and I didn't hear it and wake up, I was that sound asleep.  I know I am not healthy and need the sleep, but it's frustrating.  I feel out of place knowing that I am having brunch when the early risers are having lunch.  But, I have worked hard, taking care of others' parents and grandparents when I worked at a nursing home and got hurt, and I've taken care of others' children when I worked at a preschool, where I also got hurt.  When I was told to quit my physical job by my doctor because of osteoschlerosis, I moved to clerical work.  I worked for a lawyer, psychologist and a counselor.  But, with clerical jobs, you still have to stoop, bend, lift and write and type all day, which led to carpal tunnel, ganglionic cysts and a thumb rebuild.  So, I've worked myself out of work!  But, I still have to live.  I'm not the type of person who can just sit on my butt and do nothing.  I hate being dependent on others to help me with housework, and paying bills.  I used to start yawning around midnight or so, now, it's an all day thing.  Some days, after I shower and dress, I am wiped out!  But, I keep moving, however slow it might look to others that day.  I have been well blessed by God, so I keep doing my best to serve where and how I can.  I can see an end upcoming.  I know that I have done my best.  I know that when I pass those pearly gates, all haters and judgmental people will be gone.  I will be free and at peace, finally.  I long to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant!".  How about you?  Did you do your best today?

Rev. Angelia Schwarz Coleman, PhD.E.
Minister Works of Heart
Executive Director Healing Families' Lives, Inc.
wohwomensministry@gmail.com

The Anger Epidemic

The Anger Epidemic



     I just finished writing a class on the anger epidemic.  All you have to do is to watch the news to see the results of it.  It's shocking.  I'm all for personal freedoms, but when you are taking those out on others, that's not o.k..  What happened to "Love Thy Neighbor"?  Time seems to travel in cycles, things come in, then go out.  I'm hoping the rampant anger and hate go back out soon!  There have been other periods of time with such angry, hateful events, but it is still disturbing to witness.  People don't seem to be satisfied until they "destroy" whoever it is that they are angry with, jealous of, or just plain don't like.  That only comes back on you eventually, the saying goes:  "Karma is like a rubber band; you can only stretch it so far, before it comes back and smacks you in the face."

     Maybe some of the fundamentalists are right, and taking religion out of our schools has left our following generation with no moral compass.  When my generation saw these things happen, or had such thoughts, we knew that they were "bad".  That we would hurt someone, or get hurt ourselves, by acting out on angry, hateful, violent thoughts.  I don't see those personal checks happening with some people.  I think it begins with ourselves personally.  What we let ourselves get away with.  Are we loving and kind to others, or do we refuse to accept anything that we don't like, or is different from what we are used to?

     People are abusing animals, other people and themselves.  There is so much anger and violence so often now, people are becoming numb to it, and it's becoming acceptable to the fringe who lean that way.  There is so much abuse happening now that the media can't even keep up with it.  It's still wrong.  What is right?  Thinking before acting.  Trying reason and dialogue.  Trying love and compassion.  Walking away from an explosive situation.

     Anger is not the best way to deal with anything.  It can be deadly.  It can be a sign of dysfunction.  To be so self-centered that you bulldoze over everyone else, is a personality disorder.  We used to know that love was the answer.  Love could cure the anger epidemic if people would use it.  Doing anything because "so and so" did it is what children do; not what adults are supposed to do.  Vengeance used to be something taken when someone killed one of your family.  Now, it can be for something as small as someone said something that you didn't like!  When you are that vindictive, you are hurting yourself by running off anyone who may have been interested in you.  People do seem to have a serious moral crisis right now.  The kids I grew up with would have never acted out like young people are doing now, for fear of our parents, or of God.  We mostly, with a few exceptions, didn't want to hurt anyone, we'd rather make friends.  We didn't want to get hurt ourselves.  We would go "walk it off" or punch a wall or pillow or just scream when we got too angry, and let off the head of steam.  I'm not sure how the level of violence that we have today came about.  Were their parents not involved?  Did they grow up without a religion or system of beliefs to guide them morally?  Did their parents do these things?  Should they have been shipped off to the Peace Corps or something?  Abusing anything or anyone is the ultimate outlet of pain.  It can lead from abusing to killing in some cases.  Usually angry people have come up in angry homes.  If you are taught that it's alright to run over everybody else to get what you want, then that's what you'll do.  If you are taught that it's better to talk things out and come to a compromise, then that's what you do.  Stop and think before you lash out in anger next time.  Ask yourself, "What would be the reasonable, or logical thing to do about this?"  If you believe that God is love, then what should you be sending out to others?  Having compassion on your neighbor like the Good Samaritan did, is so much better for us all, than kicking him to the curb, or ignoring him and walking by.  Think before you act.  That would help to cure this anger epidemic faster than anything else.


Rev. Angelia Schwarz Coleman, PhD.E.
Minister Works of Heart
Executive Director Healing Families' Lives, Inc.
wohwomensministry@gmail.com

Saying No

  Saying No



     Sometimes we just have to say, "no".  Sometimes people are just out to use us.  We are then well within our rights to just walk away from them.  You need to know your worth, and not let others use you.  You have the right to set boundaries.  It's healthy to do so.  You can be proud of yourself when you don't let yourself be used.

     When we go through life, we meet all kinds of people.  Some people do not have good intentions towards us.  We usually do our best to take care of our bodies, but sometimes not our minds or emotions.  We can let people wear on us, and just give in from the exhaustion of their continued pressure.  We are then not ourselves.  We are who they want us to be for them.  They usually do this because of their own fears or anxiety.  But, we have the right to walk away if they do not respect our boundaries and ride us too hard.  They are living through us, because they are too afraid to live for themselves.  That's what they need to learn, to live their own lives.  We are acting in our own best interests when we cut these people from our circle.

     We all want to be cared for.  But, we shouldn't retire from exploring our world because we have to care for someone who won't care for themselves.  We all want to have fun and good times.  We all want to move forward, if we're healthy mentally and emotionally.  Everything is usually all right in the end.  Anxiety is an echo; it travels through time from a point where something happened that caused us to be afraid.  If we don't get help with it, it will be like a skip on a record.  We'll be going along, then something will trigger that anxiety, and we'll be back to the beginning.  It's hard to move forward if you allow anxiety and fear to hold you back.

     So, when someone is wearing us out mentally or emotionally, it's healthy to put a stop to it.  If someone who's otherwise healthy lets you support them, unless it's a case of childrearing, and you've both agreed to supporting the other, they are using you.  If we allow it to continue, then it will, and it will escalate.  You are a worthy child of God, and no one has the right to use you.  You should be able to set boundaries on what you are willing to put up with, and what you aren't.  If you can't do that, then maybe you need some help from a mental health professional as well.  You are somebody.  Others are somebody too.  But, not everybody has your best interests at heart.  We can fall into the trap of helping a seemingly helpless person.  We can stand it, until we can't stand it anymore, then explode.  We are not someone else's servant or slave.  We can give too much.  We may think that we're helping them, but what we are doing is enabling them to continue to be a dependent person.  We have the right to say, "I'm done."  We are not their puppet.  They are so locked in fear that to live a life is too much for them.  So, it's alright for us to go live ours.  We can be caring.  But, we don't have to devote all of our time to someone who's not willing to devote any time to themselves.  We have a right to be happy, and live our best life.  We have a right to stop undue stress in our lives.  We can move forward, once we've learned that a situation is bad and not what we thought it was in the beginning.  Anxiety and fear can be serious, but there are psychotherapy and psychotropic medications that can help with it.  To let it rule our lives, is a shame.  If you don't treat your anxiety, you may never be able to move forward with your life.  It's your life.  Don't you want to live it to your fullest and be as happy as possible?

  Rev. Angelia Schwarz Coleman
Minister Works of Heart
Executive Director Healing Families' Lives, Inc.

Speaking the Truth

Speaking the Truth




     I am just sick and tired of all of the "isms" that have come back in now.  There is open sexism, racism, faithism and politicism causing every side to be in at least a verbal fight with the other.  Each side thinks that they are right, but like Gandhi said, "If everyone is right, then nobody can be.".  The blows are being thrown like in a boxing ring.  What we need is dialogue.  The escalation that is going on doesn't benefit anything.  We should all have equal rights.  The world would be a better place for everybody if there was no oppression.  Only those who have something to gain from oppression would disagree.

     Everyone wants to be happy.  Everyone wants their fair share.  Everyone wants to live their best lives.  We each have a piece that fits the whole picture.  We all have our own magic that enriches the world by us sharing it.

     Going at each other like rival ancient tribes doesn't fix anything.  It only escalates the problems.  When we sit back and allow things like these to go on around us, we are enabling them to continue.  Even one, small voice can make a difference.  Think about the story of the Emperor's New Clothes.  One small child told the world the truth that they already knew, but were afraid to speak.  There is a culture of bullies that feel like because they have power, they have the right to shove others around.  Well, they don't!  They may do it anyway, but they don't have the right to!  And, when we don't speak up, we've allowed it to continue unchecked.  When we stand up for someone who is wronged, we are doing the right thing.  Society allows things to continue as long as nobody puts a stop to it.  These "isms" are a sickness; a plague on society.  We can save our society, but we have to be willing to speak up.  To say, "That's not right!", or "stop that!".  You can feel proud of yourself for doing the right thing if you do.  It can be scary to do the right thing sometimes, especially if everyone else around you is doing, or allowing the wrong thing to go on.  Being the noble one to stand up and say "That's not o.k.!" can make a difference.

     It seems to me that society has backslid from the one that I felt happy with.  It's downright shocking to me how people are treating each other.  It's like the world has suddenly lost it's mind and being a narcissistic sociopath is considered a good thing!  That being a bully and beating down anyone that you can means you're tough, and not the school bully who everyone hates because of their inappropriate behavior!  How did it get this far?  Because people have allowed it to.  No one wins in a society like this, except the people who have the highest positions, the most money, ie, the power.  "We the people.."  that means ALL of the people.  Not just the men, or the whites, or the protestants, or the republicans.  When we let the "powers that be", be, things get too one-sided.  We all deserve to be happy.  We all deserve our fair share.  We all deserve to live a fulfilling life.  We would be a sadder humanity without it's diversity.  We would lose the brilliance of each shining culture, if we shunned it.  Fighting is sometimes necessary.  But, sometimes, it causes more problems.  But, to not fight for what's right, allows what's wrong to continue.  If you see injustice, speak up!  We can pretend that we don't see a thing, to not make waves, or cause us trouble.  But that keeps the illusion of normalcy going.  We should be free from harassment; they even made laws about it.  It's not right to use your power to control others.  That makes you weak.  And the people who go along with it, are weak.  Doing the right thing may be scary, but it is right.  We can be like that child in the Emperor's New Clothes, and speak the truth, even if everyone around us is pretending everything is normal and fine.  Society is running a fever right now.  How long until it goes into a coma, then dies?  And by dying, I mean collapses in on itself, and leads back to rebellion and anarchy.  Change can be scary, and we may be frozen in shock when something we find offensive happens.  But, we can speak our truth.  Maybe, if enough of us do, we'll be heard.    


Rev. Angelia Schwarz Coleman, PhD.E.
Minister Works of Heart
Executive Director Healing Families' Lives, Inc.
wohwomensministry@gmail.com

On Grief

ON GRIEF




     Sometimes, life is sad.  There are people who I miss, who I won't see again, until the afterlife.  Sometimes, in an effort to reach the heights of heaven, we do foolish things.  The best thing that we can do, is to go ahead and cry.  Our emotions can be stormy and we can feel tossed by the waves of them.  But, take hope, that in the end, we will find peace.  We can look and look for answers and never find them.  We will always remember the people who filled our lives with their presence.  When we finally lay down to our rest, our tears will be over.  That's why I feel that it's important to spread the Gospel, so that no soul is destroyed.

     But, life goes on.  Birds still sing their songs.  The wind still blows.  We can still listen to music, dance in our own way, and enjoy our lives.  Life can seem boring, routine even, when you are grieving.  But little by little, if you allow yourself, you start to notice the little things again, and enjoy them.  Then, that allowance of life spreads back out into it, and you notice bigger things, until once again, you are swaying along your path, to the beat of your own music.  Things can come along and throw us off; but the important thing is to keep getting up, dusting ourselves off, and getting back onto our path, and continuing our adventure called life.

     Sometimes people even have to move away from a place if the memories are not good ones.  Goodbye can be healing.  Sometimes we don't even know how to move forward if we've been stuck in a place or were in a codependent relationship where our decisions weren't always our own.  In those cases, I recommend some life coaching or therapy to help you get unstuck.  Just think of what YOU need to do to get yourself through your grief.  We inherently know if we look inside of ourselves.  Sometimes a family member or friend will step in and take you away from the situation by advice, or even an invitation to stay with them for awhile.

     So, life gives us lemons sometimes.  We don't want to lose people that we love.  We don't want to be limited to seeing their fading faces in pictures.  But, if we have the hope that we will join them someday, then the time is just that.  I know some people consult mediums, etc, but even some of them admit, they may not be receiving accurate information.  Losing your faith, and your money is not the best option.  So, let it out.  Emotions can be scary.  But, if we hand over situations to our higher power, the Universe, God, Jesus, then we know that someone much better equipped to handle them is in charge.  We sure don't have all of the answers!  Losing someone that you loved is painful.  So, we do need to cry, or whatever else that safely helps us to process this loss.  In Christ, we have the hope that someday, we will all be together again in a new place.  The hard part is waiting.  Watching time pass.  Watching the seasons of our lives and years go by.  We need to focus on the little things that bring joy to our lives.  Focusing on our grief keeps us stuck in it.  Notice the birds singing and the wind blowing, and the sun on your face.  Notice the interwoven plan that is unfolding in your own life.  There will always be problem people and situations in our lives.  We cannot change the people who are around us, but we can change the people who we choose to be around.  Sometimes, we just have to let go.  Freedom is the best feeling.  Getting your head on straight can take some time, but you're worth the investment.  We all react differently, so my way, may not be your way.  You have to find that one out for yourself.  We usually know what works for us and what doesn't.  Look for support from those who love you, and those who offer it.  Because sometimes, we all need a little support.

Rev. Angelia Schwarz Coleman, PhD.E.
Minister Works of Heart Ministry & Outreach
Executive Director Healing Families Lives, Inc.
wohwomensministry@gmail.com